GLENN W. MACAULAY

Why not get your computers to barf out some of this content that I’m a part of:

Some of my standup featured on James Boyd’s Farce After Dark podcast

I wrote and am in this Deck Crew short from the Space Janitors web series. It says Andy wrote it but it’s incorrect. Why would I lie about that?

I also added some new pictures including the proceeding product that I featured in Frugal Fridays over at the blog. Also check out the letter I wrote to the actor playing me in a movie.

Wow, I had fun creating this update, during which I ate 16 Twix bars as part of a dare.

It’s Saturday! The day where all you want to do is go buy things so that you feel good about yourself until Monday. Why not break the cycle and explore my website full of fresh miracles and unbelievable dreams. Check out the blog for new posts and the videos section for a new video featuring my latest character “The God of Paris”. If you’re reading this on a day other than Saturday, then brother, I don’t know what to tell you. Wait, yeah I do — Go gather fresh raspberries and bring them to me at once!

There is a new video added to the “Videos” section about me watching Top Chef. Where the hell else would I put it, under “Pictures”?! Sorry, the tone I’m going for in this post is “guy at pool party who is a bit more drunk than everyone else and brought homemade beer”.

I just turned 30, there’s a new video up and I own more pairs of shoes than at any other point in my life. Just try to stop me Satan I dare you!

My hand is finally starting to get better, meaning my typing speed is up, as is general squeezing. That means I’ve gotten back to writing blog posts about all sorts of stuff, everything except dolls, because those are for girls! So go ahead, click “blog” at the top and just get into it already.

You can now see me as a talking face on this CMT show, “Hit Or Miss”.

You can also catch me tweeting on behalf of a new web series called Space Janitors, which I’ll also be in.

My hand had surgery last week so only half my body can give peace signs.

Other than that, keep me in mind next time you need a babysitter.

I dropped a fresh new holiday single that can be found under “Videos” there at the top. My buddy Garnet even wrote about it in Toronto’s Star.

Until next time, eat solids, drink fluids. peace on Earth.

I broke my thumb! That means typing is a chore and I won’t be able to thumb the Christmas ham this year. In brief, here are two, limited edition xmas cards that you can print and glue to your enemy’s windshield:

Check it out! Andy and I will be pretending to be Jet Fighter Pilots at this great ass show. Do come, and bring your wallet and a knife if you’re scared of the city.

Also, follow @spacejanitors please! I’m running it on behalf of SPACE JANITORS, a new web series coming in 2012.

Big news! No, I didn’t get braces, but this announcement will provide me enough dough to not only brace my teeth, but the teeth of all my friends as well.

I’ve been cast in the title role of a new major Canadian motion picture called Fellow Canadian, shot entirely in stunning 2-D colour!!! It’s a spy-action-thriller-half-cartoon-epic-about2hourslong about a superhero from Ajax, Ontario. Here’s an early sketch of Fellow:He’s kind of like James Bond mixed with Ron James. I think I’m going to base my performance on Justin Guarini’s memorable run on the first season of American Idol.

The film isn’t due for release until 2014 due to the fact that I need to gain 200 pounds and learn how to captain an aircraft carrier, but in the meantime, enjoy these social media treats:

Website – www.FellowCanadianFilmWebsiteWhoIsFellowCanadian?.Pepsi.Pepsi_Rewards.com

Twitter – @FellFellCanCan

Tumblr – ThingsWrappedInFlags.tumblr.com

Here’s a summer poem that I wrote last summer, posted on my blog, performed live then posted again on my blog yesterday. This baby has more mileage than Forrest Gump, except that idiot ran around for no reason while this poem aims to promote everything from world peace to air conditioners. Mostly it’s about gender equality and wildlife preservation, but hey, I don’t want to guide you here, reading poetry is about discovering oneself and then finding a sick beat to bring it all together. The rap version of this particular poem samples “Dare to be Stupid” by Weird Al with additional drums from the score of “Radio Flyer”.

The Weather this summer

Holy shit it’s been hot
Imagine you were a bear?

Those guys have body beards
And sweat their fair share

Hairy men suffer too
But enough with the gents

Are tits like insulators?
Are vaginas like vents?

Maybe women are like camels
Their humps keep them icy

But hot milk goes sour
Does heat make tits smell not nicey?

Picture a bear with big tits
she’d be in summer hell

Full circle poem huh?
Hot, bear, tits, milk, camels

This one is all wrapped up
So feel the damn heat

And men just remember boys
Chill out your wife’s teats