During an editorial meeting in 2011, one of my eager photographers–let’s call her Mega Daphne–pitched a Street Style segment to the team and we all went butts up for the idea. Modern blogging is all about quick, easily digestible, shareable, image-based content and since we’d only generated four dollars and a Corona bikini since launch, I was very interested. I green-lit the segment and gave MD four dollars, the bikini and a new strap for her camera that looks like a shrimp ring and is a shrimp ring, to show how committed I was.
Almost three years and seven countries later, Mega Daphne returned to the office with sixty-three full memory cards and a fiancé from Iceland who thinks our donuts taste bitter. I was expecting pics of the most stylish fuckers in the world, ready for me to caption and share with our readers, but what I got was a total pile of unusable bullshit. Either I misunderstood her or she’s a fuckin’ dolt, but whatever the case, I can’t afford to not run the feature. So here’s the first edition of StreetStyle (she took over six million pictures so expect the feature to return) that might be interesting to city planners or goddamn ancient grandmas who haven’t found another human attractive since there was still paint on the Pyramids.
StreetStyle1
Photos by Mega Daphne (real name withheld because I’m in love with her sister)
Captions by Glenn (nickname withheld for reasons of it’ll give away the extra body part I have growing inside my nose)
Name: Douglas Avenue Avenue
Occupation: Being paved
Salted, uncracked pavement, snow banked scruff, regulation sidewalk in classic grey, split-level and bungalow trim, shadows by TREES
Name: Calle el Bueno
Occupation: Being shitty to cars
tracks by old worker, dotted line paint, cobblestone accents, vintage cable car, bus lane graphics, vintage apartments
Name: Candy Cane Way
Occupation: Luring Tourists
concrete with slush, christmas tree walls, modern vintage sign hang, vintage buildings
Name: Biter’s Avenue
Occupation: A good route to get to a better street
fresh asphalt, parking designed by ROGER (city planner), garbage bin topper, stone walkways with cobbled zings, medium tree lashes
Name: Rue Bono
Occupation: Postcard Model
vintage stone home lined , modern hatchback parking grid, mix of vintage and modern surfacing with fresh paint, flower buckets for spring, rolling hill hat, slight curve neck
StreetStyle1 is brought to you by glennmacaulay.com and the guy who lets us rent his toilet and knows a whole lot about HTML.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 