GLENN W. MACAULAY

If you rely on glennmacaulay.com for all your news, lust and adventures, you’ve probably been disappointed at the lack of information lately. I have a good reason! And no, sorry Brad Pitt, I’m not retiring, but I am getting married. I didn’t realize it when I baked my now financé a proposal ham, but weddings are hard work and require a lot of attention and boxes upon boxes of granola bars.
Once I’m married I’ll be able to fully concentrate on creating some of the most important human work of all time, and this will be the place to find out about it. Sound good? Sorry, you’re not invited.

With all this summer heat it must be extremely tough for those in the street soup business. From all of us here at glennmacaulay.com, good luck and may your broths be savory and full of flavour.

In other news, my world famous personal blog has been as hot as a bowl of Italian Wedding on the 4th of July! There have been several updates lately that may unlock a secret emotion deep down inside you that you never knew existed. It happened to me. I now experience a boredom variant I call “Pennooning”.

If you’re hiding in a closet with your laptop because there are dogs after you, take some time to check out these Fyre Dryll album covers that myself and my friend Andy made.

I’ll be taping an episode of Rogers TV’s Late Night with Matty D on July 16 at the Garrison in Toronto. If you don’t own a TV then you have no choice but to come.

Why not get your computers to barf out some of this content that I’m a part of:

Some of my standup featured on James Boyd’s Farce After Dark podcast

I wrote and am in this Deck Crew short from the Space Janitors web series. It says Andy wrote it but it’s incorrect. Why would I lie about that?

I also added some new pictures including the proceeding product that I featured in Frugal Fridays over at the blog. Also check out the letter I wrote to the actor playing me in a movie.

Wow, I had fun creating this update, during which I ate 16 Twix bars as part of a dare.

It’s Saturday! The day where all you want to do is go buy things so that you feel good about yourself until Monday. Why not break the cycle and explore my website full of fresh miracles and unbelievable dreams. Check out the blog for new posts and the videos section for a new video featuring my latest character “The God of Paris”. If you’re reading this on a day other than Saturday, then brother, I don’t know what to tell you. Wait, yeah I do — Go gather fresh raspberries and bring them to me at once!

There is a new video added to the “Videos” section about me watching Top Chef. Where the hell else would I put it, under “Pictures”?! Sorry, the tone I’m going for in this post is “guy at pool party who is a bit more drunk than everyone else and brought homemade beer”.

I just turned 30, there’s a new video up and I own more pairs of shoes than at any other point in my life. Just try to stop me Satan I dare you!

My hand is finally starting to get better, meaning my typing speed is up, as is general squeezing. That means I’ve gotten back to writing blog posts about all sorts of stuff, everything except dolls, because those are for girls! So go ahead, click “blog” at the top and just get into it already.

You can now see me as a talking face on this CMT show, “Hit Or Miss”.

You can also catch me tweeting on behalf of a new web series called Space Janitors, which I’ll also be in.

My hand had surgery last week so only half my body can give peace signs.

Other than that, keep me in mind next time you need a babysitter.

I dropped a fresh new holiday single that can be found under “Videos” there at the top. My buddy Garnet even wrote about it in Toronto’s Star.

Until next time, eat solids, drink fluids. peace on Earth.

I broke my thumb! That means typing is a chore and I won’t be able to thumb the Christmas ham this year. In brief, here are two, limited edition xmas cards that you can print and glue to your enemy’s windshield:

Check it out! Andy and I will be pretending to be Jet Fighter Pilots at this great ass show. Do come, and bring your wallet and a knife if you’re scared of the city.

Also, follow @spacejanitors please! I’m running it on behalf of SPACE JANITORS, a new web series coming in 2012.