You forgot allllll about your Advent calendar today so you hopped on the first tram out of the dome and back to your place where it sits next to your copy of Little Women. You excitedly peel back the December 3 window to reveal…
…a traditional miner’s breakfast! Two slices of dried and charred jícama and a coal-dusted pasta steak, served in a gummi bowl. Only 22 days left until you have to once more explain to your church’s minister why you don’t like candy canes. It’s not that you don’t respect them, they just that they remind you of the elderly and how they eat boring candy and can’t walk.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 