You invite your friend Mobert over to share in the opening of the December 4 window on your Advent calendar. After readying the barf bucket, you peel back the steel-enforced cardboard to reveal:
A woman pigging out, watching a closed-circuit feed of you opening the window. You don’t close the window for fear of the universe collapsing on itself.
Only 21 more days left until we take our stockings down and put them back on the big feet of our nation’s basketball stars. For 25 days in December they have to use oven mitts.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 