It’s almost quitting time and you have tomorrow off so you’re very antsy. To kill time you roll a single die until your favourite number comes up and it takes nine rolls before you remember that “88” isn’t on a single die. You sigh, then realize you brought your Advent calendar with you in case of emergency on-toilet entertainment. With co-worker Grilf obnoxiously looking over your shoulder, you bite open today’s door to reveal:
A selection of six powders! Without smelling or tasting you KNOW the black one is ground up hair, but the others are more mysterious. You have Grilf snort some grey powder, which causes his eyes to turn inside out. Better save that one for Uncle Ken.
Only six days left until you look down at your half-naked body and think to yourself, “these are the underpants I will remember wearing on Christmas Day ’13”.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 