You get to the airport three days early, just in case. You find a nice seat in Terminal 2 close to the Tim Horton’s and next to a very well designed garbage/recycling combination bin. Paradise. You burn through your queue of podcasts in just four hours and wonder what to do before you grab a bagel for dinner. You rifle around your rucksack and beneath the pile of every US Magazine from 2013, you find your Advent calendar. You encourage any children in the vicinity to watch you unveil today’s gift but the only taker is an old lady who thinks you’re her cat. She helps you remove the velcro window to reveal:
A limited edition Beastie Boys figurine set from the Hello Nasty era! RIP MCA. These will go great with your Fishbone nativity scene. The old lady asks if you’d like some milk and you say “yes!” while wrapping the delicate figurines in one of the scarves you were going to gift to the pilot of the plane you’ll be flying in. They’re millionaires anyway, right?
Only five days left until you start feeling sad that your “Girls And Their Sauces” calendar will soon be obsolete.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 