Back in the old days there was no such thing as rubber condoms so to avoid getting a woman pregnant, men of the realm were forced to fashion their own out of whatever was around, or have a hog eat their dick off. Here’s what some of yesteryear’s horn dogs used to dam the stream:
Blacksmith – Rot iron condom
Baker – hollow bread condom
Knight – No condom
King – Silk condom made to look like a bigger dick
Jester – King’s underpants condom
Peasant – Mud condom
Time Traveler – LifeStyles brand condom
Wizard – Smoke condom
Wizard’s Apprentice
Yeah right! Sorry, but I’m not going to fulfill your perverted fantasy of imagining a bright, young apprentice with a test tube rammed over his underdeveloped peen while he stares dead ahead into the lustful eyes of the village harlot.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 