What they used as condoms in the old days

Back in the old days there was no such thing as rubber condoms so to avoid getting a woman pregnant, men of the realm were forced to fashion their own out of whatever was around, or have a hog eat their dick off. Here’s what some of yesteryear’s horn dogs used to dam the stream:

Blacksmith – Rot iron condom


Baker – hollow bread condom


Knight – No condom


King – Silk condom made to look like a bigger dick


Jester – King’s underpants condom


Peasant – Mud condom


Time Traveler – LifeStyles brand condom


Wizard – Smoke condom


Wizard’s Apprentice

Yeah right! Sorry, but I’m not going to fulfill your perverted fantasy of imagining a bright, young apprentice with a test tube rammed over his underdeveloped peen while he stares dead ahead into the lustful eyes of the village harlot.

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