condoms | GLENN W. MACAULAY

Tag Archives: condoms

2015 Advent Calendar — December 10

Posted on Dec 10, 2015 | Leave a comment

Your December 10 Advent treat window looks like this:

You order your mutt to bite through it, revealing today’s cheeky holiday track:

Here are the lyrics that prove I’m consistent when it comes to these posts.

My dad bought my condoms on the first day of Hanukkah
I said ‘hey thanks that’s cool’

I took ‘em to the cellar and I put one on my feller
I thought ‘man, this holiday rules’

I kept that thing on for 40 days
And filled with piss and stuff
Then I learned it wasn’t meant as a diaper
Puberty was really tough

What they used as condoms in the old days

Posted on Oct 19, 2014 | Leave a comment

Back in the old days there was no such thing as rubber condoms so to avoid getting a woman pregnant, men of the realm were forced to fashion their own out of whatever was around, or have a hog eat their dick off. Here’s what some of yesteryear’s horn dogs used to dam the stream:

Blacksmith – Rot iron condom

Baker – hollow bread condom

Knight – No condom

King – Silk condom made to look like a bigger dick

Jester – King’s underpants condom

Peasant – Mud condom

Time Traveler – LifeStyles brand condom

Wizard – Smoke condom

Wizard’s Apprentice

Yeah right! Sorry, but I’m not going to fulfill your perverted fantasy of imagining a bright, young apprentice with a test tube rammed over his underdeveloped peen while he stares dead ahead into the lustful eyes of the village harlot.

Tag Archives: condoms

2015 Advent Calendar — December 10