Your December 7 Advent treat window looks like this:
You lick it ten times and it dissolves before your eyes, revealing today’s attitude-heavy holiday track:
Here are the lyrics that you can steal and use in this year’s Christmas card:
I don’t need jeans for Christmas
I prefer to buy my own jeans
I don’t want jeans for christmas
Please don’t get me jeans
There’s more to me than my fuckin pants
I also love cigarettes and booze and plants
Gimme a gift card or a shaving kit
I’m sick and tired of this denim shit
Maybe a blu ray or a frying pan
Every year it’s jeans again and again
Every gift is like a box of pain
All these fuckin jeans are making me insane
Fuck you, Santa
GLENN W. MACAULAY 