The World

When Bin Laden got the old “heave ho” from Uncle Sam and the Gun Dudes, I was relieved, and also optimistic that the world would change for the better. But it was the kind of hope you get when your stomach hurts and when you sit down for a toilet session you’re hoping for a in and out solid-logger when in the back of your butt you know it’s going to be chocolate waterfall.

Imagine my surprise then, when after 10 years, the good folks down at Piggy’s Crumpets re-opened their factory doors to the public! I hear the Baron is going to release the much anticipated “Whole Wheat” crumpet during the exclusive first-look tour in July. Even though I didn’t find a Golden Pencil in one of their multi-packs and thus won’t be attending the tour, I’m excited that a new generation of lucky children will be able to experience the wonder of the Piggy’s factory in downtown Poland. If I hadn’t been on one of these tours way back in ’96 I would’ve never learned how to barf through my nose.

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