Today’s tip will make the lives of coaches and warehouse managers better than the lives of a mildly alcoholic bank guys who have hot tubs in their backyards but don’t really take care of them. For everyone else it has the potential to streamline your life and improve your general well-being. I know what you’re thinking: “I wear a copper amulet that my herbalist’s blacksmith recommended, claiming it would make me feel less ‘ippy’ all the time. Turns out it’s all hokum. The thing looks nice but my son still calls me an ip. Why should I buy what you’re smelling?”. I can’t comment on a product that isn’t available at Loblaw’s, but still, I understand your reservations–just hear me out.
All you need for this life tip is your go-to, everyday clipboard and your go-to, everyday facial tissue. That’s it! You’re done!
By replacing your regular, sharp clipboard paper with standard-issue (or that kind with the cream baked in) facial tissue, you will double your productivity, freeing up more time to bathe your family’s best bowls for the upcoming salad blast.
With this new setup you’ll be able to:
– Make notes, just as you would using the same kind of paper you print your birthday dos and don’ts on. It may be a tougher jot, but this setup is for the true penmans anyhow.
– If you must fire a peasant during work hours, you’ll be able to console the victim in a timely and gentle manner by having both crying/snot tissues and walking papers (also printed on tissues) available in one place, ready to go.
– Washrooms at the sports field are few, far between and caked in “old banana”, know what I mean? Keep your lineup on a couple of softies and use them on your butt wherever it is you lay down your brown.
– Dirty clipboard? Wipe it, no spice.
Be sure to log back on in December where I’ll show you how to turn a frisbee into a wart for a reindeer statue.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 