2015 Advent Calendar — December 5

Your December 5 Advent treat window looks like this:


You utter the magic words, “I’m ready, baby”, and the window softly swings open to reveal today’s treat:

Here are the lyrics in case the cops start sniffin’ around:

At my in laws for a holiday feast
The turkey’s out the oven and the buns got yeast

I ask my wife’s dad if there’s something I can do
he said “please carve the turkey and make the gravy too”

I said “no problem that’s my specialty”
I’ve made more gravies than Finland’s got trees

I’d blow ‘em away with my deep brown goo
Shit would taste good on a dirty fuckin shoe

Open up the pantry to get some supplies
What I found in there almost made me cry

They got a lotta flour

But they don’t get cloves!

They got port wine

But no bay leaves!

Thank god they got pepper

I don’t see worstershire

But they do got salt

Do my best to make it thick and tasty
It’s got more flavour than Dawson’s got Pacey

The gravy’s such a hit that they drank that shit
I’m the hero of Christmas cuz my sauce is legit

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