Your December 5 Advent treat window looks like this:
You utter the magic words, “I’m ready, baby”, and the window softly swings open to reveal today’s treat:
Here are the lyrics in case the cops start sniffin’ around:
At my in laws for a holiday feast
The turkey’s out the oven and the buns got yeast
I ask my wife’s dad if there’s something I can do
he said “please carve the turkey and make the gravy too”
I said “no problem that’s my specialty”
I’ve made more gravies than Finland’s got trees
I’d blow ‘em away with my deep brown goo
Shit would taste good on a dirty fuckin shoe
Open up the pantry to get some supplies
What I found in there almost made me cry
They got a lotta flour
But they don’t get cloves!
They got port wine
But no bay leaves!
Thank god they got pepper
I don’t see worstershire
But they do got salt
Do my best to make it thick and tasty
It’s got more flavour than Dawson’s got Pacey
The gravy’s such a hit that they drank that shit
I’m the hero of Christmas cuz my sauce is legit
GLENN W. MACAULAY 