Laundry is the act of cleaning your clothes. Here’s how to know that it’s time to do that:
Your bathing suit has grass stains on it
You turned two belts into a thong
The stain on your t-shirt smells like the gravies of your youth
There’s a healthy crop of onions growing from your laundry basket
Your wife caught you vacuuming your jeans
The spiders who live in your laundry pile have mended the holes in your dirty old khakis by spinning silk patches.
You caught yourself licking your lips at a pair of socks in the department store
You read one of those Internet lists about Signs It’s Laundry Day and you’re like “that’s me”
You go home and look at your pile of dirty clothes and think “that’s definitely me”
You go to the laundromat. The the owner takes one look at your clothes and says “get outta here, you’ll break the equipment”
You try to donate your dirty clothes to a homeless shelter and tell ask if you’d like a bed.
You stay the night because it’s been a long day
The next day you go to Mark’s Work Wearhouse and buy new clothes
A new era begins
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GLENN W. MACAULAY 