Tag Archives: clothes

2015 Advent Calendar — December 11

Your December 11 Advent treat window looks like this:


You scrub away at it using an abrasive cleaner and your favourite sponge to reveal today’s dreamy shoegaze holiday track:

Here are the lyrics, typed by Glenn himself:

Didn’t get an xbox one
Got clothes instead
They were all too small
Wanna return them all

What to do today?
Was planning on playing games
Family’s in the den
Can’t let them see me cry

Lied to mom
Told her I loved all the clothes
But why would I want a shirt
that says “fuck my boss” on it ?

4 litres of reasons it might be laundry day

Laundry is the act of cleaning your clothes. Here’s how to know that it’s time to do that:


Your bathing suit has grass stains on it


You turned two belts into a thong


The stain on your t-shirt smells like the gravies of your youth


There’s a healthy crop of onions growing from your laundry basket


Your wife caught you vacuuming your jeans


The spiders who live in your laundry pile have mended the holes in your dirty old khakis by spinning silk patches.


You caught yourself licking your lips at a pair of socks in the department store


You read one of those Internet lists about Signs It’s Laundry Day and you’re like “that’s me”


You go home and look at your pile of dirty clothes and think “that’s definitely me”


You go to the laundromat. The the owner takes one look at your clothes and says “get outta here, you’ll break the equipment”


You try to donate your dirty clothes to a homeless  shelter and tell ask if you’d like a bed.


You stay the night because it’s been a long day


The next day you go to Mark’s Work Wearhouse and buy new clothes


A new era begins