My students today are Ooba, Una, El Jason, Robbie, Yugg and Candice. Guys, why don’t you introduce yourself by using last week’s lesson on creative greetings?
Ooba: Hello, I won’t eat you.
Una: Welcome to my talking phase. What’s next? I can go again.
El Jason: I’m not ill, may we lick?
Robbie: Hi there on today.
Yugg: Greetings, the weather is poo man and I am under poo man.
Candice: Hi, stare into my teeth and I will look into yours.
Ha, um, okay, definitely better than week one.
Today’s lesson: What is a ‘trailblazer’ and how do you use the term?
‘Trailblazer’ is a popular English term that has exactly five vastly different meanings. You’ll know how to use the term depending on the situation but don’t mess it up or the person you’re communicating with might explode*
*I’m not serious, but since giving the class these warnings I haven’t issued a grade under C+)
Meaning #1 – A jacket traditionally worn when hunting or birdwatching
Braidly models a trailblazer while hunting for compliments in the glennmacaulay.com photo studio
Using the term in a sentence:
I am going to the forest to look for toads but a dog pooed on my windbreaker. Do you have a trailblazer I can borrow?
My trailblazer has enough pockets for six pine cones and three snake eggs.
I wore my trailblazer to the pond and now it smells like ducks.
I glued moss, leaves and three nests to my upper body, but it’s no trailblazer.
Meaning #2 – An outdoorsy pothead
This trailblazer is wearing a trailblazer
Using the term in a sentence:
I got lost in the woods, came across a trailblazer and got more lost.
That man licking the maple tree is likely a trailblazer.
Is that an owl in that tree? No, that is a trailblazer, hooting.
Hello, I am a trailblazer, may I eat some of your seeds?
Meaning #3 – An arsonist specializing in forest fires
A typical trailblazer ignoring his own safety by not wearing a trailblazer. That kind of behaviour means he’s probably a weed-headed trailblazer.
Using the term in a sentence:
I used to burn down houses but they never had enough leaves. I am a trailblazer.
Our town no longer has any walnuts thanks to that trailblazer.
Don’t go into the woods today, a trailblazer built a tepee in there.
I didn’t know mud was flammable until I saw a trailblazer light some.
Meaning #4 – Clyde Drexler
A Trailblazer, not allowed to trailblaze due to the NBA’s drug policy. He’s also not allowed to trailblaze but who would? The forests of Portland are stunning.
Using the term in a sentence:
Clyde Drexler is a Trailblazer.
Meaning #5 – A Chevrolet automobile
The Trailblazer given to Clyde Drexler for being an exemplary Trailblazer.
Using the term in a sentence:
I wanted a Porsche for Sweet Sixteen but Daddy bought me a Trailblazer instead and now I hate my daddy.
I ran over a man in my Trailblazer then I rolled it into the lake to hide it.
There’s enough room in a Trailblazer for three couples to have sex.
The interior of my uncle’s old Trailblazer smells like rotten soap.
There will be a quiz on trailblazers next week. In the meantime, please study Chapter 17 where you’ll begin to learn how to ask for onion rings instead of fries at restaurants. Thank you students and thank you visitors for taking the time to observe our class. Having problems speaking English? Enroll! I promise you that El Jason doesn’t normally scream so much.
GLENN W. MACAULAY 