Tag Archives: weed

420 Snak Pak, Twenty Ate Teen

Today is the day to inhale the sweet acrid fog of the 4/20 flower and let it envelop every wrinkle of the brain that was created from the same soil as the weed that got you there in the first place — WE ARE ONE — forget that you have a memory but REMEMBER that you have forgotten the truth. This is your space. This is your Snak Pak.

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Look underneath the wig of the jester and you might just find the King. Perception is 9/10ths of the law unless you allow authority the freedom to play. PLAY is the motion of the unbound…

Begin this year’s exercise by removing the skin your mother gave you and that is your clothes because the Earth gave you your skin and your clothes are a myth created by forces long dead.

I. Overture

Attach a hose to your nose and put the other end in your ear. You will smell your ear and hear your nose for the first time…

Every ear contains Mother Sound, every nose Daughter Smell _-_-_-_ Are they related? You will know soon.

Data does not contain anything that the clouds can perceive until it can be translated by the wind

II. Awakening

Look at your feet through binocular, telescope or opera glass. Your feet and your eyes are of the same nation yet will never be allies so show them the potential of an impossible future. Are you dreaming yet?

III. Education (The Rift)

Every second is a lesson as long as you give time a hall to preach wisdom. Do not forget that in each molecule lies potential and that no spirit claims that a secret.

STOP. THINK. STOP THINKING.

Conservation IS preservation so why is one a ‘C’ and one a ‘P’? The gatekeepers know but their cages are made of your denials thus the key is in letting go of all your “whatevers”.

IV. The Movement

Sing the song of the dynamic God. Those who deny movement and speed do not understand the flux inherent in astral beings. When you stop you do not stop because GO is the only truth and you can’t GOD with GO…. If your mind has difficulty accepting do not fret as this is the script that leads to the film of UNDERSTANDING directed by YOU and produced by US with acting by Hollywood’s finest.

Will you come with me? The answer cannot be ‘yes’ and it cannot be ‘no’ unless ‘yes’. There are bigger riddles but they are beyond this realm. Chew, my friend.

V. SINK

The clock strikes 4/21 and you feel stuck in the jelly of yesterday. I have no solution, your battle is unique.

VI. Treats

Have you tried those new Starburst gummy sours? They’re not very good.

420 Snak Pak 2016 — Yuppie Edition

Using marijuana for relaxation and bettering of Disney movies is more widespread than ever. Not only are teenagers of divorced parents getting stoned, but all peoples across all income levels. In the past we’ve provided weed’s core audience with a visceral 4/20 experience, but this year we’d like to toss a treat toward the wealthier red eyes who may be new to the trip that sees no class. Please enjoy this Snak Pak, Yuppie Edition:

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Suck in the joke smoke or start a vapour caper, press ‘play’ on your brain and let the universe reign. Take the wave valet to the shade chalet. Let’s begin. 

There are rarer tones that you have the means to afford but today we are one and the notes are in bulk. Which clef would you prefer? Allow the numbers to decide for they are the only true source ©

Q2

Reflection is as truthful as chemistry when both feet are crystal deep. Ponder your mirror with these ancient postulates:

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…You are on the scale of the universe but your mass is insignificant in the web of infinite vortexes.

Your money has no value in the stars… but if the coin is not the Holy one then what place does it have in this dimension we call “now”?

Your clean suits and shimmery body gloves are masks crafted by the vanity of evolution’s children. Which elders CAN you trust? A smile will guide you toward the natural leader.

Q3

Expel the five whims. Expel the five whims. Expel the five wh—–ims.

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You are the only traveller you need. You are the road. The destination lies not in the form but in the question. Heed the signs, believe the limits.

Q4

What of the fuel?

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You ingest what you believe is superior but how can there exist a hierarchy when the molecules of being are not the ones who are begging?

Annual General Meeting

Every question can be asked in new modes but some are more dynamic than others. Let us bow and pretend.

Is sleep also the cousin of bloopers?
Would you sacrifice your eyes to rid yourself of ‘up’ and ‘down’?
Where does hair end and brain begin?
If there’s something in nothing then is nothing some thing?
Would a diaper benefit or hinder a hibernating bear?
What if Stonehenge represents the three meals?

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“My thinking is de-railed and I’m tied up to the tracks, on the Train Of Consequences there ain’t no turning back”
– D. Mustaine

* Credit to http://fruitsoftheweb.tumblr.com/ for some gifs I lifted. Others I googd. Thank you!

420 Snak Pak, 2015

As is customary on glennmacaulay.com, we’d like to help you on your 4/20 flight  with our traditional 4/20 snak pak. Enjoy the words, sounds, fonts, thoughts and colours that we’ve sewn together to create a tapestry that will guide you through your trip to the sky and beyond. Roll up that dried lettuce and find a comfortable table because it’s time open the doors and let the tide roll in. To you, traveler, we say… good luck… good food… good vibes… good waves… goodness gracious.

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Sound is the child of the brain’s tongue. Before you ignite, taste the inside of all possibilities with this tone-setting track:

Step 1 – Inh@le

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There is no diagram to the human spirit. Find your spirit by looking into the marble mirror. Ask the questions. Get the answers. Deny the answers. Ask the answers.

Step 3 – Exhale

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If we cannot define matter then how do we know its name? All astral beings are privy to the riddles of our dreams.

 Step 1 – Search your mind

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Do you see your bridge? Don’t just jump into the sea of possibility, do flips into it and dry off with the stars.

 Step – Breath with your brain

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If all life breaths the same air then the air is not special. What is special is what you do with your air. Sex is existence. 

 Stepp 8 – Appreciate all creatures

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WE ARE ALL ALL OF THE ABOVE, ABOVE AND BEYOND OUR DIFFERENCES

Stet 1 – NUDITY

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A mask hides truth but what happens when the mask is the truth? Seek the prism, deny the sea ahead.

 STeps – Your place in the universe

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We are each a moon because we each have light. Never trust your own gravity.

 Step 8 – Harvey’s

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Harvey’s stuffed cheeseburger is back for a limited time. We take Harvey’s classic patty and stuff it to the gills with fresh Ontario cheddar. Get yours now before it’s too late and have a great April 20th!!

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ESL Lesson 4B

My students today are Ooba, Una, El Jason, Robbie, Yugg and Candice. Guys, why don’t you introduce yourself by using last week’s lesson on creative greetings?

Ooba: Hello, I won’t eat you.
Una: Welcome to my talking phase. What’s next? I can go again.
El Jason: I’m not ill, may we lick?
Robbie: Hi there on today.
Yugg: Greetings, the weather is poo man and I am under poo man.
Candice: Hi, stare into my teeth and I will look into yours.

Ha, um, okay, definitely better than week one.

Today’s lesson: What is a ‘trailblazer’ and how do you use the term?

‘Trailblazer’ is a popular English term that has exactly five vastly different meanings. You’ll know how to use the term depending on the situation but don’t mess it up or the person you’re communicating with might explode*

*I’m not serious, but since giving the class these warnings I haven’t issued a grade under C+)

Meaning #1 –  A jacket traditionally worn when hunting or birdwatching

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Braidly models a trailblazer while hunting for compliments in the glennmacaulay.com photo studio

Using the term in a sentence:

I am going to the forest to look for toads but a dog pooed on my windbreaker. Do you have a trailblazer I can borrow?

My trailblazer has enough pockets for six pine cones and three snake eggs.

I wore my trailblazer to the pond and now it smells like ducks.

I glued moss, leaves and three nests to my upper body, but it’s no trailblazer.

Meaning #2 – An outdoorsy pothead

This trailblazer is wearing a trail blazer

This trailblazer is wearing a trailblazer

Using the term in a sentence:

I got lost in the woods, came across a trailblazer and got more lost.

That man licking the maple tree is likely a trailblazer.

Is that an owl in that tree? No, that is a trailblazer, hooting.

Hello, I am a trailblazer, may I eat some of your seeds?

Meaning #3 – An arsonist specializing in forest fires

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A typical trailblazer ignoring his own safety by not wearing a trailblazer. That kind of behaviour means he’s probably a weed-headed trailblazer.

Using the term in a sentence:

I used to burn down houses but they never had enough leaves. I am a trailblazer.

Our town no longer has any walnuts thanks to that trailblazer.

Don’t go into the woods today, a trailblazer built a tepee in there.

I didn’t know mud was flammable until I saw a trailblazer light some.

Meaning #4 – Clyde Drexler

A Trailblazer, not allowed to trailblaze due to the NBA’s drug policy. He’s also not allowed to trailblaze but who would? The forests of Portland are stunning.

Using the term in a sentence:

Clyde Drexler is a Trailblazer.

Meaning #5 – A Chevrolet automobile

The Trailblazer given to Clyde Drexler for being an exemplary Trailblazer.

Using the term in a sentence:

I wanted a Porsche for Sweet Sixteen but Daddy bought me a Trailblazer instead and now I hate my daddy.

I ran over a man in my Trailblazer then I rolled it into the lake to hide it.

There’s enough room in a Trailblazer for three couples to have sex.

The interior of my uncle’s old Trailblazer smells like rotten soap.

There will be a quiz on trailblazers next week. In the meantime, please study Chapter 17 where you’ll begin to learn how to ask for onion rings instead of fries at restaurants. Thank you students and thank you visitors for taking the time to observe our class. Having problems speaking English? Enroll! I promise you that El Jason doesn’t normally scream so much.

420 snack pack with Easter

Today is a big day for almost everyone in North America, whether you’re a chilled out dripper or a blood of Christ sipper. Whoever you are and whatever you believe, you have something to celebrate on April 20th, 2014, the anniversary of not only Jesus’ best prank but also something to do with pot users getting the Internet.

In this year’s snack pack I’m going to include a little something for everyone, like a salad bar that doesn’t ignore the old cheese and crackers. Thankfully, there’s a lot of overlap because both groups really enjoy asking stupid questions. Weedies, grab your biggest cone and start gettin’ thirsty, and Pew Dudes, grab your favourite Bibby verse and assume the position, let’s get crazy….

420 Easter Psychedelic Snack Pack with Piety

And doooWnnnnn THE rabbbit whole weeeee gô….!!???!!!!!

We start our wild trip with the rabbit himself….question for the “higher ups”, is the Easter bunny a boy or a girl or does the universe care??? I don’t know but think about what gender our stars are…. is it working???? And a query for the believers, have you been good this year??

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Jesus with you (one of his bunnies) in his arms

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420’s Easter Rabbit

Further down we go….. more questions arise to expand your minds….if we can’t see sound then it should at least smell, right? And don’t forget that everything in Jesus’ time smelled like shit and that isn’t anything against him it was just that the barnyard and backyard were one and the same. Here’s some juice for both of your cups whether it’s a scared chalice or a big plastic hologram one from 7-11 that has Triple H on it…

Let’s now speed things up shall we?? But what is speed if the Earth only moves at one speed? That should have both parties thinking out loud while those around them just want to listen to their headphones, but this isn’t their day is it???

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God’s creation, weed’s foundation

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Approved by ministers AND sinisters

If Earth is 80% water then why do only 20% of us own boats?

Okay, that was heavy, it’s time to come down a bit, for our trip is almost over, yet every end is another beginning unless there are no sequels, but in Jesus’ case his second sequel is still in development.

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Did they eat cat in Biblical times? Yes, because they were allowed.

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Is this not what we are all fighting for?

And we arrive back at our normal consciousness in the only dimension we know. I hope that I have successfully aided in a beautiful holiday for I am here to serve and to get blaaaaazedddd and think about how Jesus would’ve really enjoyed the groundbreaking skateboarding that happened in the early late 80s/early 90s.

Bonus

Here’s a photo gallery from two years ago featuring some of 2012’s hottest starts smoking on some of 2012’s best burnt ends. I think everyone here is still alive but the value of their autographs may have fluctuated, for better or worse.

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