Tag Archives: grass

420 Snak Pak, Twenty Ate Teen

Today is the day to inhale the sweet acrid fog of the 4/20 flower and let it envelop every wrinkle of the brain that was created from the same soil as the weed that got you there in the first place — WE ARE ONE — forget that you have a memory but REMEMBER that you have forgotten the truth. This is your space. This is your Snak Pak.

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Look underneath the wig of the jester and you might just find the King. Perception is 9/10ths of the law unless you allow authority the freedom to play. PLAY is the motion of the unbound…

Begin this year’s exercise by removing the skin your mother gave you and that is your clothes because the Earth gave you your skin and your clothes are a myth created by forces long dead.

I. Overture

Attach a hose to your nose and put the other end in your ear. You will smell your ear and hear your nose for the first time…

Every ear contains Mother Sound, every nose Daughter Smell _-_-_-_ Are they related? You will know soon.

Data does not contain anything that the clouds can perceive until it can be translated by the wind

II. Awakening

Look at your feet through binocular, telescope or opera glass. Your feet and your eyes are of the same nation yet will never be allies so show them the potential of an impossible future. Are you dreaming yet?

III. Education (The Rift)

Every second is a lesson as long as you give time a hall to preach wisdom. Do not forget that in each molecule lies potential and that no spirit claims that a secret.

STOP. THINK. STOP THINKING.

Conservation IS preservation so why is one a ‘C’ and one a ‘P’? The gatekeepers know but their cages are made of your denials thus the key is in letting go of all your “whatevers”.

IV. The Movement

Sing the song of the dynamic God. Those who deny movement and speed do not understand the flux inherent in astral beings. When you stop you do not stop because GO is the only truth and you can’t GOD with GO…. If your mind has difficulty accepting do not fret as this is the script that leads to the film of UNDERSTANDING directed by YOU and produced by US with acting by Hollywood’s finest.

Will you come with me? The answer cannot be ‘yes’ and it cannot be ‘no’ unless ‘yes’. There are bigger riddles but they are beyond this realm. Chew, my friend.

V. SINK

The clock strikes 4/21 and you feel stuck in the jelly of yesterday. I have no solution, your battle is unique.

VI. Treats

Have you tried those new Starburst gummy sours? They’re not very good.

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420 Snak Pak, 2015

As is customary on glennmacaulay.com, we’d like to help you on your 4/20 flight  with our traditional 4/20 snak pak. Enjoy the words, sounds, fonts, thoughts and colours that we’ve sewn together to create a tapestry that will guide you through your trip to the sky and beyond. Roll up that dried lettuce and find a comfortable table because it’s time open the doors and let the tide roll in. To you, traveler, we say… good luck… good food… good vibes… good waves… goodness gracious.

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Sound is the child of the brain’s tongue. Before you ignite, taste the inside of all possibilities with this tone-setting track:

Step 1 – Inh@le

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There is no diagram to the human spirit. Find your spirit by looking into the marble mirror. Ask the questions. Get the answers. Deny the answers. Ask the answers.

Step 3 – Exhale

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If we cannot define matter then how do we know its name? All astral beings are privy to the riddles of our dreams.

 Step 1 – Search your mind

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Do you see your bridge? Don’t just jump into the sea of possibility, do flips into it and dry off with the stars.

 Step – Breath with your brain

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If all life breaths the same air then the air is not special. What is special is what you do with your air. Sex is existence. 

 Stepp 8 – Appreciate all creatures

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WE ARE ALL ALL OF THE ABOVE, ABOVE AND BEYOND OUR DIFFERENCES

Stet 1 – NUDITY

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A mask hides truth but what happens when the mask is the truth? Seek the prism, deny the sea ahead.

 STeps – Your place in the universe

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We are each a moon because we each have light. Never trust your own gravity.

 Step 8 – Harvey’s

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Harvey’s stuffed cheeseburger is back for a limited time. We take Harvey’s classic patty and stuff it to the gills with fresh Ontario cheddar. Get yours now before it’s too late and have a great April 20th!!

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Alternatives to seasonal jumps

The other day I saw this little kid jump into a pile of dead leaves only to emerge covered in dog shit and old cigarette butts, making her look like some sort of leprosy-ridden Chewbacca. Every season has its own unique thing to jump into that we associate with childhood innocence but at what cost? Here are some alternatives to the most popular things to jump into, organized by season:

Summer
Major Jumper – Swimming Pools

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For centuries summer has been the hottest season of the year besides the heat generated by the non-stop action of PGA Tour season. The easiest way to beat the heat besides replacing your heart with a fridge motor is to swim in water that’s colder than the air. This form of bathing also affords adrenaline junkies the opportunity to test out air-based tricks like flips, dips and tornadoes but it’s all a bit played out. If you’re having trouble following what I’m talking about, simply remember this nursery rhyme: Summer is hot, pools are cool, the world is brown, pools are blue

Alternative – grass clippings

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Pools don’t grow on trees but grass sure does, and with so much unwanted grass clippings littering city streets and parks, it makes sense to use them for something other raccoon bait.

Winter
Major Jumper – snow

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Snow is a very safe, all-natural substance whose white colour reminds us of innocence and the boring part of our eye that doesn’t do anything. It’s also edible so if some gets in your mouth while you’re jumping into it you won’t have to force yourself to puke like you would when jumping into the bean pit during post-summer. I don’t think we should limit ourselves to just one kind of winter pile though.

Alternative – pile of salt

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Every foodie dreams of diving into a pile of salt and in most seasons this is completely unreasonable. But come winter big piles of chunky salt are utilized to season our ice and snow in case aliens come and we need to trick them into it so they leave our meat and seeds alone. Salt is rougher than snow but if you come home covered in salt your cat will give you the licking you’ve always sought.

Spring
Major Jumper – Mud

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Besides being a a dead ringer for poo, mud is a sign that winter is over as well as a source of nutrition for our nation’s nomads. You wouldn’t want some guy swimming around in your almonds, would you? Stay out of the mud!

Alternative – nests

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You shouldn’t feel bad about gathering bird’s nests into a clean pile because birds love making them. Besides, for all the hair and old string we contribute to every nest, the least they can do is not peck us when we take one.

Fall
major jumper – dead leaves

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Humans have a natural need to jump into piles of skeletons because that’s how our ancestors proved they weren’t pussies. Over centuries we’ve evolved to jump into the next best thing to dead humans: dead leaves. By frolicking in what’s essentially a tree’s dead children, jumping in leaves is a pretty big “fuck off” to bark boys considering we use their oxygen all year. Plus, what if someone’s phone number is written on one of those leaves?

alternative – alive leaves

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In grade four I ran away from home for six hours and was briefly raised by a local hobo named Meals. He taught me to pile up alive leaves and jump into them, giving one the sensation of “swimming through a lake full of skin” as Meal put it. And fuck trees anyway, right? You never hear them whisper “save the humans” or anything and here we are feeding them CO2 all year long.