“Mommy, I’m God”
Gravity is a brand new movie set mostly in outer space where a handful of astronauts have some trouble at work. Sandra Bullock plays the main floater who has never been to space before but knows how to fix the big droid better than veteran astronaut played by real deal woman fucker, George Clooney. There’s one other guy whose face you do not see, but whose voice would be best described as “Mexican?”.
There isn’t much to say about the story except that humans are the only species we get to hang out with and Earth is the only planet we get laugh at. If I wanted to see some humans on earth I’d take a look in the mirror because I have a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin licking a globe.
The main draw of this future Wikipedia favourite is the visually stunning depiction of outer space, painstakingly created in a computer program that doesn’t come with the computer you bought. No wait, who cares? Outer space is the easiest thing to draw next to the sun, which also makes several appearances.
If “gravity” is the science that keeps our poo flowin’ the right way, then the film Gravity is the film that stops us from pooing for 90 minutes because we don’t want to get up and poo during the film. As a joke, I threw a Mars bar at the screen when the credits started rolling. I give this film two thumbs on the buttons that make space ships fly and hope that it inspires someone to make a space movie with more sports in it.
DVD BONUS FEATURE
What fun snack should you eat during Gravity?
Mars Bars (sorry if I ruined the surprise before)
GLENN W. MACAULAY 
That third dude was as obvious as the redshirt on a Star Trek mission. I barely managed to think “that fool is gonna die” when WHACK! Some hunk of space crap knocks his head off. Then as much suspense as when Batman is hanging over a vat of acid while the Penguin makes his weird laugh. No way George and what’s her name are going to suffocate and end up as popsicle corpse satellites. Cool computer space stuff though.
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