2015 Advent Calendar — December 14

Your December 14 Advent treat window looks like this:


You call the cops and they arrive promptly to take it away to the joint, thus revealing today’s snarling holiday track:

Here are the lyrics because they’re VERY important:

The mall’s too full
I can’t find a spot

Where should I park
There’s too many cars

Today’s christmas eve
I waited too long

Runnin’ out of time
I’m a stupid boy

Handicap’s open
but i’m not a dick

Just a little tired
And probably sick

There’s a fucking spot
I’m too far away

That Lexus will get it
But I’ll give it a shot

pull around quick
put my blinker on

I’m almost there
but so is that mom

I’ll let her have it
It’s christmas time

Everybody’s stressed
I’m not alone

I’m too nice
I’m too nice

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