Advent Calendar 2014 — December 11

Don’t quit your day job unless you need to get caught on up this year’s Advent calendar adventure.  

December 1               December 9
December 2              December 10
December 3
December 4
December 5
December 6
December 7
December 8

So far, each date gate has revealed an Advent “treat” within that transports you to your next destination and offers some hint as to where you’re going to go next, but after pulling the jersey (date gate #10) over your head you disappeared, so was your own head the treat?

It must have been because you materialize into infinite space with fragments of you suspended all over the place.

money mania

It’s like one of these money machines but infinite and full of your memories, personal artifacts, parts of your soul. and old receipts.

Because you’re suspended in infinite space, you take the opportunity to execute some flips you’ve always wanted to try but quickly get nauseous. You try to suppress it but stop when you begin to wonder what might happen if you were to barf in this strange space. Then, a picture floats by of you on Christmas Eve ’89 where you had a nasty stomach bug and couldn’t throw up because you were never really able to unless you were asleep.



You float around some more, checking out the first time you kissed a bottle of root beer, the time a duck took your keys and a neat little screen showing every time you’ve ever chewed gum.

Next to a replica of the cigar your grandfather gave you on his deathbed with the instructions, “use the DNA on this cigar to clone me if they ever invent robots that will do anything you want”, you see this:

A Tweet of yours from December 11! I used a tweet of mine in this example, so all you have to do to make this story more real is go find one of yours. If you don’t have Twitter, pretend it’s an old newspaper or some shit.

You giggle/nod approvingly (depending on the nature of your Tweet) and get the feeling that you were funnier two years ago but try to use it as inspiration to be funnier TODAY. You decide to skirt the rules by favouriting a Tweet of your own by reaching out into the nothingness to touch the favourite star button. In an instant you’re transported out of your own head in into… who knows? I don’t even know really.

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