Tag Archives: bethlehem

2015 Advent Calendar — December 16

Your December 16 Advent treat window looks like this:


You sing it an Irish hymn and it drifts off to sleep, allowing you to sneak past it to find today’s grungy holiday track:

Here are the lyrics in case your country needs a new national anthem:

I’m the man
Who turned away Mary
My inn was full
and Joseph looked scary

Had I known
She was pregnant with jesus
Would’ve offered her crackers and cheeses   

I paid the price
The Next day I had lice
a guy killed my wife

With a really dull knife

My inn caught on fire
And I always perspire
Now my prospects are dire
Gotta pray to my sire

Dear God I’m sorry, dude
I didn’t mean to be so fuckin rude
can you stop putting nails in my food?
I swear i think Jesus is really cool like you

2015 Advent Calendar — December 15

Your December 15 Advent treat window looks like this:


You wiggle your way through it and find today’s holiday track sitting on a crystal crate:

Here are the lyrics, certified by the Canadian Alliance of Unlicensed Bartenders:

In prehistoric Bethlehem
There was a star
It led three Brontosaurus
To the jungle floor

They brought some water, grass and meat
as gifts to give
Because a special dinosaur
Was ready to live

Christmas Dinosaur
Christmas Dinosaur

This dinosaur would soon grow up
and help the poor
He did some magic, grew a beard
made friends with whores

He made some others mad
because he was the shit
then everyone exploded
When a comet hit

Christmas Dinosaur
Christmas Dinosaur