Tag Archives: song

New Song, New Year, New Christmas

Lemme hear you, Canada! Who out there got wires around they wrists hoping someone notices so you can say “It’s for my machines.” Alright, alright cool, I see you freaks and I love you!

Look, I made a new song for the 2019 holiday season and here is the result. It’s supposed to be funny but if it’s not then at least you have a nice little jam full of my signature guitar sound.

Phighting Kingdom Theme

I was looking through my old CDs in my parent’s basement’s garage and I came upon the old Phighting Kingdom soundtrack. Remember that game? It was the really violent one where you could eat other characters’ children after you killed them. Anyway, I forgot they made this techno theme song to lead off the CD and it brought back such fond memories that I uploaded it to YouTube:

This month’s playlist

Last month we tried to order a new writer to pen a fake Bible from the perspective of roller derby girl but the job company shipped us a music critic by mistake. We felt bad that the guy spent 57 hours in a box en route to our offices, so we let him write one piece before shipping him back to Omsk.

My Playlist

By glennmacaulay.com music critic, Julian Lapterjunsting

Here’s what I’ll be jamming to this month when I hitch up to Alaska for HOLY MOLY AuthntcFstvl this coming July. My tastes are very complex and these tracks are challenging but I believe that when ingested together they form a nihilistic pattern that could be interpreted as a hyper-common argument. Enjoy!


This Irish singer/slapper mixes hazy west coast post-dream drone with utter disdain for the bass clef (for once). I love the uplifting message and the understated whale winds she weaves from textures based around the idea of unlimited holidays.

The Dog Ate My… To Be Continued

This is what it would sound like if The Ramones traded their guitars for a Fellini film during softball season in rural Georgia in 1968. This is the perfect soundtrack for a chess picnic in June, minus the rain and undeniable circumstance.

John Aunt

What begins as a lesson in baroque clang, ends with a nod to the hollowness prevalent in 90’s-era stop ‘n go. With each chorus, Aunt calls for a new instigation of truth backed by throbbing rhythms, while the listener can’t help but respond by urging, “solve me!”.

Goodyear Tired

Bushy-headed prank slop from three Rhode Island teens who don’t nod to their influences so much as babysit them. The pubescent relentlessness raises questions about ethics in our caustic attitude toward “the new normal” but somehow it works, backed by Cody Nubbles’ otherworldly vocals and drummer Daryl Invicta’s two-three-nine patterns and drop stings.

New song about blue jays


Step to the plate, hit a homerun
fly to the park, peck at a bun
doesn’t matter if you’re a bird or a man
Toronto loves you like no one can

BLue jays the team don’t live in no tree
blue jays the birds fly proud and fly free
Blue jays the team don’t have no feathers
Blue jays the birds always fly together

9 men out there, ready to play
9 birds out there, a viper’s prey
Bats and balls for the human jays
Rats and worms for the bird blue jays

They both want food, they both want water
They both love grass and weather that’s hotter
They both wear blue and they both love seeds
Blue Jays are what Toronto needs

My favourite blue jay is a tweeter named Lisa
My favourite blue jay is jose bautista
one is rich, the other don’t have money
Both live here and love the taste of honey

9 men out there, ready to play
9 birds out there, a viper’s prey
Bats and balls for the human jays
Rats and worms for the bird blue jays

New song for Tuesdays only

This song popped into my head while I was trimmin’ some snow peas for dinner so I jammed over to my ‘puter and just pissed it out.