Halloween is almost here I think, which reminded me of this spooky thing that happened to me last year:
Halloween is almost here I think, which reminded me of this spooky thing that happened to me last year:
Strike three, I’m back!
My fans will be thrilled to know that I was in the house LIVE for last night’s historic fifth game of the ALDS wherein the Blue Jays erased years of Toronto sports futility with a breathtaking victory against the “Breakfast” Rangers. I say “breakfast” because it sounds like “Texas”.
Like most blue-brained ball boys, I tend to continually drink liquid during a game, which either results in a pair of pissed pants or frequent trips to one of Rogers Centre’s three bathrooms. These fabled stables have been in the news lately so in my continuing effort to go viral I activated the microphone I always have taped to my penis to capture spirited toilet talk from Toronto’s main men.
Check out these choice quotes from last night that will echo through history, reminding us of the magic that was GAME 5!
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged alds, baseball, bathrooms, blue jays, game 5, overheard, toilets, Toronto Blue Jays
I booked some studio time and contacted Canada’s top musical talent to record a thought-provoking track against Stephen Harper, but before I knew it a million other bands beat me to the punch.
To save some money I cancelled the booking, fired the band and quickly threw something together on my iPad that accomplishes exactly what I set out to accomplish. It’s a bit rushed but try to enjoy and please don’t forget to vote in Canada when it’s time.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Canada, Conservative Party, Federal Election, Liberal Party, music, NDP, protest song, Stephen Harper
Three years ago I married a woman for the first time and since then we’ve shared our lives and toilet in wedded bliss.
Our wedding day is a blur of presents and money but if there’s one thing I do remember, it’s the vows I spoke directly into the eyes of my beautiful wife. In honour of our anniversary I’d like to share these vows with you with the hope that they inspire you to go out there and somehow find a single soulmate in a world of 7 billion people.
Love, Glenn
Hey baby baby, if I choke, save me
If I drown it’s my fault because only clowns drown
So lower me down into the ground in a race car casket
Complete with engine, oil and gaskets
I’ll want to race to the afterlife
To have sex with ghosts and wait for you, wife
It won’t be heaven without you or Kevin
Which Kevin is the Kevin I’d like to meet in Heaven?
Spacey, Hart even Smith would do
As long as they’re there with me, clouds and you
And if there’s no Heaven that’s alright as well
Being anywhere without you is like living in Hell
Speaking of Hell, it’s likely not bad
Maybe too hot and a little bit sad
But I’d rather suffer with you than party alone
So let’s make this quick and hit the bone zone

Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged husband, love, marriage, marry, vows, wedding, wedding anniversary, wife
Lights, camera and action! TIFF is back for another year of critically acclaimed films, hot parties and loads of totally radical folks from the PR industry who truly believe they rule.
Unfortunately for all you film buffs, glennmacaulay.com was denied press accreditation again this year because we’re well-known for our HONESTY when it comes to movie reviews. Worry not because that won’t stop us from delivery premium content related to Toronto’s biggest annual event and to start things off we’ve got a little history lesson inspired a daring choice made by a modern actor.
During a Q ‘n A for this new movie, The Program, actor Ben Foster-Wright-Penn revealed he took real drugs to help him act like disgraced biker Lance Armstrong. This isn’t the first time a real deal actor has taken a big risk for the sake of cinema. Here are some other memorable ones:

To prep for his role as the uncle of Clifford (1994), a trouble-making little boy played by law-abiding adult Martin Short, Charles Grodin legally adopted a 48-year old named Nico and raised him as his own.

Laura Dern spent six months in a sad, sexless relationship with a British workaholic named Spencer prior to filming Jurassic Park (1993) with co-star Sam Neill.

Before puppeteering Jedi Master Yoda in 1980’s The Empire Strikes Back, Frank Oz trained by growing a creature on his hand. Right before shooting began the creature was surgically removed and eventually starred in Ghoulies (1984)

Sly Stallone spent two weeks wooing, dating, marrying, then divorcing a quiet nerd with major babe potential before shooting on Rocky (1976) began.

Keanu Reeves signed up for his first email account a mere four days before principal photography began on The Matrix (1999).

Neve Campbell spent a week in the special needs kindergarten class of an L.A.-area elementary school to prepare for her scenes with Matthew Lillard in the horror classic Scream (1996).
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged acting, actors, ben foster, film, films, hollywood, lance armstrong, movie, movies, tiff, Toronto
Regular readers of this motherfucker know that I love food more than I love toys. Living in the cultural trail mix that is Toronto has exposed me to every type of cuisine out there and most local restaurant owners know me personally as “the guy who only orders one drink”. Using my vast knowledge of food and restaurants, I’ve come up with very good sandwich board quotes for various types of eateries that are free for anyone to use. I’ve learned that nothing puts meat in the seats quite like a cleverly-worded street ad.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged advertising, canadian comedy, comedy, food, foodies, marketing, restaurants, sandwich board, Toronto